Understanding Birth Trauma

Birth is a transformative experience, it is one of the only true rites of passage that remains in our society … for everyone! Everyone is born, but not everyone births a human. And for some, birth can be deeply challenging—physically, emotionally, and psychologically. When birth unfolds in a way that feels overwhelming, frightening, or out of control, it can leave lasting imprints. This is called birth trauma, and it’s more common than many realize.

If your birth experience was difficult, or if you’re struggling with emotions that don’t seem to fade, you’re not alone.

Let’s talk about what birth trauma is and what you can do to heal.

What Is Birth Trauma?

I always say, a trauma is when something you went through is not seen or acknowledged as a big deal by everyone around you when it feels like a big deal inside.

Birth trauma isn’t just about what happened during birth—it’s about how it felt. It can stem from a variety of experiences, including:

• A difficult or prolonged labor

• Medical interventions that felt unexpected or distressing

• A loss of control or feeling unheard during birth

• Complications for you or your baby

• A NICU stay or emergency birth situation

• Pain management that didn’t work as expected

• Feeling dismissed by your health care team

• Feeling unsupported by your support team

Even if everything looked “fine” from the outside (especially if you don’t tend to vocalize during birth or painful experiences), birth trauma is about your perception and experience.

If you felt scared, powerless, or unsafe during birth, those feelings matter.

How Birth Trauma Can Affect You

Birth trauma can show up in many ways, including:

• Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts about the birth

• Anxiety, panic, or hypervigilance

• Avoidance of birth-related conversations or triggers

• Difficulty bonding with your baby

• Feeling numb, detached, or emotionally overwhelmed

• Physical tension or pain related to the experience

For some, birth trauma can lead to postpartum PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder), which may require professional support to navigate.

What Can You Do to Heal From Birth Trauma?

Healing from birth trauma takes time, but there are steps you can take to process your experience and find support:

1. Talk About It With a Safe Person

   • Whether it’s a therapist, doula, partner, or a trusted friend, sharing your birth story can be incredibly validating.

   • Sharing your story again… and again… you eventually start to create the memory of the story you will have.

   • Work with someone if you feel like you might want to reframe any part of your birth.

2. Seek Trauma-Informed Care

   • If your trauma is impacting daily life, working with a therapist trained in birth trauma or postpartum mental health can help.

3. Reconnect With Your Body

   • Trauma can leave physical imprints. Gentle movement like yoga, breathwork, or bodywork (such as craniosacral therapy) can help restore a sense of safety for both you and your baby.

4. Process the Birth Through Writing or Art

   • Journaling about your experience, drawing, or even creating a timeline of what happened can help make sense of your emotions.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

   • If your birth didn’t go as you had hoped, it’s okay to grieve that loss. Your feelings are valid, even if others don’t understand them.

6. Explore Birth Processing Sessions

   • Some birth professionals offer guided sessions to help you reflect on your experience in a supportive environment.

7. Prepare Differently for a Future Birth (If Applicable)

   • If you plan to have more children, working with a supportive provider and creating a plan based on your previous experience can be empowering.

You Deserve Support and Healing

If you’re struggling with birth trauma, know this: your experience matters, and healing is possible. You are not alone, and there are people who want to support you.

Whether that means talking to a therapist, joining a support group, or simply giving yourself grace to process your feelings, know that your journey is valid.

Birth is just one moment in the story of parenthood. No matter how it unfolded, you are a loving and capable parent, and you deserve to feel whole.

With love,

Emily