Co-Sleeping and SIDS: What the Guidelines Don’t Always Say
It’s one of the most controversial parenting topics out there: co-sleeping. And it can feel like the stakes are impossibly high—like if you make one “wrong” move, something terrible will happen.
But most parents don’t live in a lab. They live in the middle of the night, nursing in the dark, trying to balance safety, sanity, and survival.
Let’s clear up the confusion.
First: What Does “Co-Sleeping” Mean?
We often use co-sleeping to mean a few different things:
Room sharing: Baby sleeps in the same room, but in their own safe space (bassinet, crib, sidecar).
Bedsharing: Baby sleeps in the same bed as a parent or caregiver.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) recommends room sharing without bedsharing for the first 6–12 months to reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome).
But in reality? Many parents end up bedsharing at some point—even if they didn’t plan to.
Why Parents Bedshare Anyway
Because it works. And we’re tired.
Baby sleeps better. The proximity helps regulate breathing, temperature, and nervous system.
Parent sleeps better. Rolling over to nurse is easier than sitting up and re-swaddling.
Breastfeeding is easier. Night feedings flow more naturally when baby is right there.
It’s cultural or instinctual. In many parts of the world, bedsharing is the norm.
And sometimes it’s not even about intention. It’s about accidental exhaustion. Parents fall asleep nursing on the couch or sitting up in bed—and those environments can actually be more dangerous than a planned, prepared bed.
So Is It Ever Safe?
There’s no 100% risk-free setup—just like there’s no 100% risk-free way to feed a baby or drive a car.
But if you do bedshare, you can reduce risk by following safe sleep guidelines like:
Placing baby on their back to sleep
Using a firm, flat mattress (not a couch or recliner)
Keeping pillows, blankets, and soft bedding away from baby
Avoiding bedsharing if anyone in the bed has been drinking, smoking, or taking sedating medications
Making sure baby is exclusively breastfed (breastfeeding is associated with reduced SIDS risk)
Keeping long hair tied back and avoiding loose clothing
What the Research Says
Dr. James McKenna at the University of Notre Dame has studied co-sleeping for decades. His research suggests that “breastsleeping”—a specific, aligned form of bedsharing between breastfeeding moms and babies—can be biologically protective when done with intention and safety in mind.
He and others point out that simply saying “don’t bedshare” ignores the reality of what exhausted parents actually do—and may lead to more dangerous sleep situations, like falling asleep upright with baby on a couch.
SEE THE SAFE CO SLEEPING GUIDELINES FROM DR. JAMES MCKENNA AT NOTRE DAME UNIVERSITY.
The Be Well Take
We meet you where you are.
Whether you’re a no-nonsense bassinet purist or a curled-up, half-asleep nursing mama, we want your baby to sleep safely and peacefully—and for you to sleep at all.
The safest sleep space is one where:
Baby can breathe easily
Caregivers can respond quickly
Everyone can rest without fear or shame
That might be a crib next to the bed. Or it might be a carefully arranged family bed with intention, awareness, and love.
No shame.
Just support, safety, and hopefully...
a little more sleep for everyone.
Love,
Emily
